Know A funny JOKE post it here

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Damitman911
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Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

FINALLY THE BLONDE JOKE THAT ENDS THEM ALL

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over
here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or
how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.
She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread
all over the table.
He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then
turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
going to able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............", he sighed,
"Let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."
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dahaka
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by dahaka »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Post by ShiningSquirrel »

A man and women get married, and on their wedding day the husband tells his new bride, he only has one rule.
"Never look in my desk draw".
Since it seemed a simple request, she agreed.
40 years go by and the couple are now retired.
One day while cleaning the house, the wife's courisity got the better of her, after all, what could be the big secret?
She opens the draw and finds 2 ping pong balls and $20,000 in cash.
Finding this to be very odd, she confronts her husband about it.
Being caught unaware, he confesses that every time he has been unfatithful over the years, he has placed a ping pong ball in the draw. Of course the wife is furious, but after thinking about it, she says "well, after 40 years you only cheated twice, I guess I can forgive you, but whats the $20,000 for?" to which the husband replies, "Selling the other ping pong balls". :wink:
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Damitman911
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the
> Interstate one day.
> So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the
> road.
> She carefully steps out of the car and opens
> the trunk.
> She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them
> and stands them at the
> rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
> The lifelike cardboard men
> are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies
> to approaching drivers...
>
> Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled
> and backed up.
>
> It was not very long before a police car
> arrives.
>
> The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the
> blonde of the disabled
> vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
>
> "My car broke down, Officer" says the woman,
> calmly.
>
> "Well, what are these obscene cardboard
> pictures doing here by the
> road?!" asks the Officer...
>
> "Oh, those are my emergency flashers!" she
> replied.
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Post by ShiningSquirrel »

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Bradenton, Fl. who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Tampa and one of my sisters, who lives in Sarasota, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Miami.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Stark for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Manatee County Jail on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Jacksonville and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel.

My problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my uncle who voted for Bush?


Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
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The HoloDeck Invasion RPG [URL=ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7677/]ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7677/[/URL]
The HoloDeck Sniper's Gone Wild [URL=ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7877/]ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7877/[/URL]

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Damitman911
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

DUDE that's old! :shock: SORRY :wink: :lol: :)



What has eight boobs and six teeth[/?
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ShiningSquirrel
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by ShiningSquirrel »

[quote="Damitman911";p="2028"]DUDE that's old! :shock: SORRY :wink: :lol: :)



What has eight boobs and six teeth[/?[/quote]

I posted it by request. Some had not seen it before and wanted a copy of it. :wink:
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The HoloDeck Invasion RPG [URL=ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7677/]ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7677/[/URL]
The HoloDeck Sniper's Gone Wild [URL=ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7877/]ut2004://goddogz.servegame.com:7877/[/URL]

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Damitman911
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

What has eight boobs and six teeth[/?
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Damitman911
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

To: Everybody and Anybody
From: CCI
RE: 12 days Of Prison

On the first day of prison my warden gave to me,
An inmate in the infirmary.
On the second day of prison my warden gave to me,
Two convicts fighting,
On the third day of prison my warden gave to me,
Three D.R.?s,
On the fourth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Four I/M?s whining,
On the fifth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Five A & Ds,
On the sixth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Six stupid sick calls,
On the seventh day of prison my warden gave to me,
Seven cell extraction?s,
On the eighth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Eight sergeants yelling,
On the ninth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Nine Captains gassing,
On the tenth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Ten diet passes?
On the eleventh day of prison my warden gave to me,
Eleven psychos cutting?
On the twelfth day of prison my warden gave to me,
Twelve I/M?s gunning.


MERRY XMAS From the Damit Family! PDT_029 PDT_014 PDT_009 PDT_001 [smilie=snowflak_gif.gif]
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Damitman911
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Re: Know A funny JOKE post it here

Post by Damitman911 »

[quote="Damitman911";p="2031"]What has eight boobs and six teeth[/?[/quote]







The night shift at the Waffle House or Dennys [smilie=drogar-dum(dbg).gif] Blue_Colorz_PDT_07 Blue_Colorz_PDT_05 [smilie=xxfart.gif]
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